


The To Do List

by angstcentral



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/F, G!P Clarke, Hand Jobs, Heavy Angst, Intersex clarke, Jealous Lexa, Jealousy, Loss of Virginity, More tags later, Nerd Clarke, Oral Sex, Shy clarke, Smut, Socially Awkward Clarke, Some Fluff, Underage Drinking, Vaginal Fingering, nervous lexa, popular lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-14 21:28:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10544620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstcentral/pseuds/angstcentral
Summary: Clarke has aced every test she’s ever been given. But she’s failed miserably when it comes to a social life. Now college is around the corner and she’s determined to complete a sexual to do list before the summer ends. What happens when her heart gets in the way and she falls for a certain green eyed beauty?ORAll nerdy Clarke wants to do is lose her virginity before college starts. But will she find love along the way instead?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the movie 'The To Do List' with Aubrey Plaza in it. (But a little different)

“Come on Clarke, it’s our high school graduation. We have to go to a party!” Monty whines.

“I would much prefer to go start prepping my college dorm to do list.” Clarke says casually. She just finished her valedictorian speech and is searching for her parents.

“H-hi Clarke!” Lexa calls out nervously. Clarke turns around and smiles wide. Her stomach does that butterfly thing it always does when Lexa is around.

“Hey Lexa.” Clarke says quietly, very shy.

“I just wanted to say happy graduation! Your speech was so great. I mean, everything you do is great though so I’m not surprised.” Lexa rambles and Clarke chuckles quietly, her face turning blush red.

“Thanks Lexa.” Clarke says gently and barely above a whisper.

“I got you these.” Lexa pushes a wrapped gift into Clarke’s hand. “They’re socks.” Lexa blurts out.

“Oh um thank you.” Clarke says sweetly, a little confused. Why did Lexa get her a gift?

“I um..well I just wanted to say that this year has been amazing being your lab partner and all. I can’t wait to go to NYU together.” Lexa says with a wide smile on her face.

“Oh..” Clarke says, overwhelmed with indiscernible emotions. “I..Yeah me too. You’re umm really special to me too. I mean..like you’re really cool.” Clarke mumbles, her face feeling really hot. God, she wants to throw up. Why does she feel this way?

“Sweetie! You were great.” Her mother, Caroline, calls out waving happily. Her father, Miles, and her older sister Anya trail behind her mom. Clarke smiles softly at them. The Porter’s adopted her and her older sister when she was 4 years old and Anya was 7 years old. Their parents, Jake and Abby Griffin, died in a car accident when Clarke was 2 years old. She barely remembers them or the 2 years in the foster system before the Porter’s adopted them.

“Thanks Mom.” Clarke says softly. Her mom and Dad hug her tight. Anya smiles gently and waits her turn to hug her sister.

“Abby and Jake would have been really proud of you. Just like I am.” Anya whispers in her sister’s ear and Clarke sadly smiles. 

“Thanks sis.” Clarke mumbles back and Anya kisses her cheek.

“And who is this?” Caroline asks politely. Clarke turns around to see a blushing Lexa.

“This is Lexa.” Clarke says simply. Clarke isn’t so good with words, unless it’s a prepared speech or something academic related.

“Well hello Lexa, I’m Clarke’s mother Caroline and this is her dad Miles.” 

“Hello.” Lexa says shyly.

“Is she your girlfriend, Clarke? Your face is red like a tomato.” Anya teases. Anya didn’t think it was possible for Clarke’s face to get redder. She was wrong.

“What?! No. We are lab partners.” Clarke stutters out embarrassed. Like someone as perfect and beautiful as Lexa Woods would actually consider her. Pfft. Wait, what did she just say?

“I better go find my parents. See you later Clarke.” Lexa mutters, a little sad maybe, before walking off. Clarke isn’t sure what just happened. She’s really bad with social interaction.

“Come on bitches! Let’s go get fucked up.” Harper sassily runs up behind Clarke. Clarke just rolls her eyes.

“Oh h-hi Judge Porter.” Harper stutters out to Caroline. “Hello to you to Mr. Porter. And um..Anya.” Harper’s face turns beet red, wishing she could permanently glue her loud mouth shut.

“Are you three going to a party?” Caroline asks with a surprised smile.

“No Mom. I was just telling Monty I was going to go home and start making my to do lists.” Clarke says formally and Anya rolls her eyes.

“Clarke, you can do that another day. You should go to at least one party in your high school career.” Anya says and Caroline nods in agreeance.

“Dad? Do you agree with them?” Clarke asks, begging for back up.

“Ehh I trust your decisions sweetie.” Miles says happily. Clarke rolls her eyes. Why do her parents have to be so cool and understanding?

+++

“Clarke Griffin is here?!” Raven slurs out to her best friend. Lexa’s head whips around.

“No. Clarke wouldn’t come to this.” Lexa mumbles defeatedly into her red solo cup.

“Well she’s here!” Raven slurs. “Shit did you know she had such a nice rack?”

“What? Raven knock it off! Clarke is-” Lexa finally sees Clarke. She let Harper dress her it seems. Holy Shit. The blonde’s hair is blown out in loose sexy waves. Her eye makeup is smoky and dark, different than her usual beautiful bare face. Her lips have a dark berry tint to them. And oh my god, her breasts.

“Oh my god..” Lexa’s jaw is on the floor. And not to mention, Clarke is looking at her now. Oh my god. She can’t do this. Is this what a heart attack feels like?

“I fucking call dibs!” Raven slurs out. Lexa looks at her with death eyes.

“N-no! You can’t do that!” Lexa protests adamantly. She’s been in love with Clarke for a long fucking time. No way Raven is going to swoop in now. No sir.

“But Lex, she’s hot.” Raven whines.

“Hey Lexa.” Clarke cuts into the conversation and is all smiles. She looks more relaxed than usual.

“Hey Clarke!” Lexa squeaks out. Raven chuckles at how high Lexa’s just goes. “Um how are you?”

“Good. Harper gave me a couple shots of her Dad’s tequila before we came here.” Clarke giggles. Lexa could listen to that sound forever.

“Was all these shots before or after you let her dress you?” Lexa teases and Clarke laughs quietly.

“Before...why?” Clarke is all smiles.

“You seem to be a little drunk, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa flirts and Clarke smiles.

“I’m not..” Clarke’s eyes suddenly widen as if this is news to her. “Oh my god! I’m drunk! Lexa! I’ve never been drunk before!”

Lexa laughs and Clarke goes to drink more of her drink. “I like this feeling.”

“Wow slow down there. You don’t want to get too drunk.” Lexa says softly. 

“You’re right.” Clarke shakes her head in confirmation like a soldier. 

“Hey Clarke.” Raven cuts in and Lexa has to suppress her want to growl like an animal at her friend.

“Hello Raven.” Clarke replies cooly. Clarke is always aloof to people she doesn’t know. She even was that way with Lexa. It took quite a while for Clarke to get used to Lexa. Unfortunately, Raven likes a challenge.

After some chatting, Clarke grows bored and excuses herself. The conversation was only fun when it was her and Lexa. 

Clarke walks outside by the pool and sees a gorgeous girl playing the guitar. Her mouth goes dry and she feels an unfamiliar stirring in her pants.

“Oh.” Clarke mumbles shocked. Clarke has never felt turned on really. She always thought she had a low sex drive. She never felt like touching herself. The only times she would do it was if she would wake up with a morning wood. Other than that, she never really spared any thought on arousal. (If she did, she would realize her fast heartbeats and stomach knots when she sees Lexa was arousal and so much more).

“Who’s that?” Clarke pulls Harper from a conversation she was having with some random dude whispers into her ear. Harper smiles. Clarke is having fun. Clarke never has fun. She’s always so serious. Harper thinks it has something to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to disappoint her bio parents. Clarke doesn’t talk about them much, but Harper just can tell that’s the reason the blonde is so serious all the time.

“That’s Luna Gregors. She’s a sophomore at the local community college. Going to be a junior soon I guess.” Harper smirks. “You interested?”

Clarke shrugs. “I don’t know.” Clarke mumbles. Harper smirks.

“Come with me.” Harper drags Clarke over to Luna. Luna stops playing the guitar and smiles. She is undoubtedly beautiful. Her hair is curly and her eyes are warm. Her body is toned and on display since she’s wearing a skimpy bikini. Clarke gulps.

“Luna, this is Clarke. Clarke, Luna. Okay, now mingle.” Harper pushes Clarke towards Luna and scurries off like a giddy middle schooler. Clarke’s face heats up.

“Um hi.” Clarke does a little wave and instantly wants to die inside. Lexa chuckles.

“You’re cute.” Luna says, biting her lip. “Do you want to go upstairs with me?” Luna asks lowly. Clarke’s heart starts beating fast.

“Okay.” Clarke nods eagerly, not really sure where this is going. 

Luna holds her hand and leads her upstairs. Lexa is laughing with some friends drinking when she sees that college girl Luna holding Clarke’s hand and bringing her upstairs. Lexa’s heart cracks.

She’s loved Clarke for so long. She should have said something. She should have made it clearer. She knows Clarke has trouble reading social situations. She should have spelt it out for the blonde. Fuck. This hurts so much.

+++

Luna smiles at Clarke while they sit on the bed.

“Can I kiss you?” Luna asks with a smirk. Clarke’s eyes widen.

“Yes.” Clarke says formally. She can already feel her member getting excited. It’s a weird sensation. Never happened to her before.

Luna presses her lips to Clarke and the blonde suddenly doesn’t know what to do. How does she kiss?! Clarke follows Luna’s lead but she’s never felt so lost before. Clarke is always a winner. She always knows what to do. This concept of not knowing how to do something is foreign to her and she doesn’t like it one bit.

She does like this kissing thing though. It’s fun. I mean, once you get the hang of it. Clarke briefly wonders why her mind keeps drifting back to Lexa though.

Luna gently climbs on top of Clarke and smiles wide before diving in to kiss the blonde again.

“You’re so pretty.” Luna says sweetly and Clarke blushes.

“Thanks. You too.” Clarke says breathlessly.

Luna is in just her bikini and it’s driving Clarke insane. Luna starts to grind against Clarke and the blonde moans loud. Wow, this feels different than on the rare occasions Clarke touches herself.

“Before this goes any further, do you have a condom?” Luna asks while sucking on Clarke’s neck. Clarke gasps out when Luna’s teeth gently nibble at her skin.

“Um no..” Clarke mumbles out. “I’m a virgin. I didn’t think I’d be going to this party at all, let alone doing this.” Clarke says simply.

“Oh..I didn’t know you were a virgin.” Luna says a little shocked. All their clothes are still on. Well, Luna’s bikini is still on and Clarke’s pants and top are still on. But Clarke is painfully aroused.

“Yeah..” Clarke mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Luna says as she climbs off the blonde.

“I don’t know.” Clarke shrugs.

“Well don’t..apologize.” Luna says in between slow languid kisses.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this..not right now.” Luna kisses Clarke again. “You might regret it.” 

Clarke justs nods and Luna chuckles, mumbling how cute Clarke is. They kiss a little more before Luna leaves the party, but not before giving her number to Clarke.

+++

“So how was last night’s party?” Anya asks the next morning.

“Ugh...my head hurts.” Clarke mumbles from under the covers.

“Aw is my sister experiencing her first hangover?” Anya teases jumping on the bed space next to her _hungover_ sister.

“Perhaps.” Clarke says, rolling over. Anya’s eyes widen when she sees the hickeys on Clarke's neck.

“Holy Shit! Clarke! Who were you kissing?! DID YOU HAVE SEX?” Anya screams out. Anya is very protective of her little sister.

“No.” Clarke replies simply. “I did not have sex.”

“Okay, okay. Then who did you kiss?”

“Luna Gregors.” Clarke says with her eyes closed in a dopey smile.

“Um what? Are you fucking kidding me?” Anya asks in disbelief.

“No?” Clarke asks confused.

“She’s my age!” Anya exclaims and Clarke just shrugs.

“I didn’t know what to do.” Clarke mumbles and Anya looks at her confused.

“What do you mean, sweetie?” Anya’s voice is suddenly soft.

“I didn’t know how to kiss. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I just didn’t know!” Clarke says frustrated.

“Oh honey, you don’t need to worry this much.” Anya says softly, pulling Clarke’s head into her lap.

“I do though. I need to be the best.” Clarke mumbles and Anya laughs lightly.

“Well it’s all about feeling comfortable and practice. Practice makes perfect.” Anya says casually, not realizing how her sister is interpreting what she’s saying. Clarke nods.

“Thanks An.” Clarke says and hugs her sister.

“No problem. I’m going to tell mom you’re up. She’s making french toast.” Anya says as she walks out of the room. 

As soon as Clarke’s door closes, she pulls out some paper and some colored pen.

_The To Do List_

Clarke starts writing all the things she needs to do before college. Anya did say practice makes perfect after all. And Clarke has always been a straight A+ student.


	2. You're Not the Right Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke checks off her first thing off the to do list.

“Wow..this is very...thorough.” Harper says while chuckling. She just finished reading Clarke’s ‘To Do List.’ Harper isn’t very surprised by this. Clarke isn’t good when it comes to dealing with emotions. This is all very Clarke.

“You should add pearl necklace.” Monty pipes in. Harper lightly slaps him.

“You’re just mad I won’t let you do that.” Harper whispers to him and Monty admittedly shrugs.

“I think I have a pearl necklace from my grandma.” Clarke says innocently, her brows furrowed. “But why do I need a pearl necklace?”

Both of her friends start hysterical laughing. They do that sometimes when she says certain things. She knows she doesn’t get a lot of things, especially dirty jokes. Maybe she will finally be normal and understand the things that come so naturally to the other kids her age.

“No Clarke. It’s not actually a pearl necklace. It’s when you..”

“Hey Clarke.” Raven calls out, walking up to their table at frozen yogurt shop’s outdoor seating. Clarke tenses. Why is Raven talking to her? Raven is one of the most popular girls from their high school. Well, she _was_ but I guess not anymore since they just graduated.

“Hi Raven.” Clarke says slowly, slightly confused.

“Listen, I was wondering if you’d want to hangout today. We could chill at my house?” Raven asks sweetly. Clarke bites her lip, thinking it over. Clarke narrows her eyes at Raven.

“Just us?” Clarke asks hesitantly.

“Yeah..Is that okay?” Raven asks nervously.

“Why do you want to hangout with me and not your usual crowd?” Clarke asks carefully.

“You caught my attention at the party...you are very beautiful you know. And I just want to get to know you better.” Raven replies simply. She’s not one to beat around the bush. She doesn’t trick people into her bed. She’s honest about her intentions upfront.

“I...um..” Clarke blushes before clearing her throat. “No thank you.” Clarke replies softly. “Maybe another time.”

“Sure. Let me know if you ever want to chill.” Raven replies nicely. “Have a nice day guys!” Raven hops back in her car and drives off. She isn’t going to push the girl. Clarke is too sweet to mess with.

“Clarke, you know she would have probably been perfect for your check list, right?” Harper says smiling.

“What do you mean?” Clarke asks confused.

“She was hitting on you!” Harper says, wildly surprised Clarke didn’t pick it up. “God, I have so much to teach you!” Harper exclaims. 

And boy does Clarke have a lot to learn.

+++ 

The next day Clarke wakes up and gets dressed in her one piece bathing suit. She is working this summer as a lifeguard.

Lexa has been working as a lifeguard for the past two summers when in walks Clarke Griffin, the new lifeguard apparently. Lexa drools. Clarke’s breasts are on display, despite the blonde’s modest bathing suit.

“H-hi Clarke!” Lexa stutters out. Clarke jumps a little, surprised by Lexa being here.

“Hey Lexa..You work here too?” Clarke asks slowly.

“Yeah. Been working here the past few summers.” Lexa says with a bright smile on her face.

“Oh..that’s nice. I..I’m glad you’re here.” Clarke says lightly, a blush creeping on her neck. “It’s nice to see someone I know. I don’t really make friends easily.” Clarke shrugs and Lexa swoons.

“I doubt that. You’re amazing Clarke. Anyone who doesn’t want to be your friend is insane.” Lexa replies sincerely and Clarke blushes.

“Thanks Lexa.” Clarke mumbles, butterflies in her stomach. Why does she always feel this way around Lexa? Her body gets all hot and her cheeks get all flushed. 

“Clarke!” Luna calls out cheerily. Clarke turns around at the sound of her name, just missing the frown on Lexa’s face.

“Hi.” Clarke mumbles out shyly. 

“I didn’t realize you’d be working here too. This summer should be a lot of fun.” Luna says seductively, raising her eyebrows. Clarke gulps. 

“I think I’d like to take my job very seriously.” Clarke mumbles and Luna bites her lip.

“Aren’t you the cutest thing?” Luna chuckles and walks away. “Alright cutie, I guess we will have to save the fun for after hours.” Luna winks. Clarke blushes. 

Is she hitting on her? Clarke is always so bad at picking up social cues. But Clarke is pretty sure she’s hitting on her. Maybe Luna would be a good start to her list.

When Clarke turns around, Lexa is nowhere to be seen.

+++

_Two Weeks Later_

Raven comes by the pool every now and then. She talks to Clarke some more and the blonde gets more comfortable with her. One day Raven asks her if she wants to come over and hangout and Clarke agrees, thinking back to what Harper said about Raven being the perfect person to help her with her list.

They sit down and Clarke pulls out her bookbag, searching for her phone charger. She places her book on the table, unknowingly letting her To Do List fall out of the pages.

“What’s that?” Raven asks curiously, looking at the colorful piece of paper. Clarke takes it and casually hands it to Raven. She doesn’t see why it’s such a big deal.

“My to do list.” Clarke says casually, almost bored. “It’s all the things I want to do before college.”

Raven’s eyes widen. Holy shit.

“Oh wow..um Clarke maybe you shouldn’t show everyone this.” Raven says gently. 

“Why? It’s not like I care what people think.” Clarke shrugs. “I’m not stupid Raven. I don’t understand a lot of social situations but I’m not stupid.” Clarke mumbles and Raven softens her eyes.

“I never thought you were stupid Clarke. You’re a genius. Everyone has their areas of expertise.” Raven supplies comfortingly.

“Well I need to improve in my areas of weakness.” Clarke says surely. 

“And what are those?” Raven asks innocently.

“Kissing and sexual acts.” Clarke states a matter of factly. Raven gulps.

“Oh..” Raven mumbles out, feeling a little turned on. “I mean are you sure that’s the right reasons to do that kind of stuff Clarke?”

“Yes. It’s the perfect reason.” Clarke replies simply. “Harper said you were hitting on me.” Clarke bluntly says.

“Yeah. I was. You’re attractive. I’m attracted to you.” Raven replies truthfully. Raven likes to tell it how it is and she doesn’t get embarrassed easily.

“So does that mean you would..I mean…” Clarke trails off, suddenly feeling awkward and nervous.

“I’d be interested in hooking up with you, if that’s what you’re getting at.” Raven says with a cute smile on her face. “But only if that’s what you want.”

“It is.” Clarke mumbles out shyly. “Can we do this one?” Clarke points to something on her list and Raven’s eyes widen. 

“You sure you wanna do that to me?” Raven asks, feeling her core tingling already.

“Yes, if you consent of course.” Clarke says in a very scientific curious tone. 

“Of course I consent.” Raven chuckles at Clarke’s combined forwardness and awkwardness. Clarke is approaching this like a school project. “You’re definitely an odd one Clarke, but I like it.”

“I’m going to kiss you now, ok?” Raven asks permission and Clarke says yes.

Raven and Clarke start making out and it gets heated. Clarke is on top of Raven. Raven’s hands roam all over Clarke’s backside, occasionally squeezing the girl’s ass. Clarke is hard and it’s very obvious. Raven smirks.

Raven moans into Clarke’s mouth and leads the blonde’s hand to the button of her jeans. Clarke unbuttons Raven’s jeans and slides her hands into her pants.

Clarke curiously explores Raven’s folds with her fingers. It’s wet and warm and sort of sticky but it’s not unpleasant. Raven’s breathing is getting heavy, Clarke observes. The blonde rubs her fingers experimentally.

“I like circles. Rub my clit in circles...Ah! Fuck Clarke..right there!” Raven moans out and it causes Clarke’s dick to twitch out in excitement. 

It’s a weird feeling. Her body feels really desperate for something. She just wants to feel release. She wants Raven to come. It’s so weird, but it’s not a bad feeling. Clarke definitely is enjoying this.

“More Clarke..” Raven whines out needily. Clarke nods and pushes two fingers into Raven’s pussy. Raven gasps loudly. She comes a few minutes later. Clarke is particularly proud of herself. 

+++

“So let me get this straight, you actually fingered Raven Reyes?” Monty asks, his jaw on the floor.

“Yes.” Clarke says simply. “It was fun.”

“Wow Clarke. My little baby is growing up.” Harper jokingly coos at her best friend. “Did she do anything for you?”

“No.” Clarke shrugs. “She asked me if I wanted her to but then her parents came home.” Clarke responds simply looking up from her book.

“Shit that sucks.” Harper says.

“Not really. There’s still a whole summer.” Clarke answers truthfully.

Fingering Raven was fun. Her body was having fun, but something in her mind was holding her back. It’s like Raven wasn’t the _right_ person.

Hopefully Clarke will realize who the right person is soon enough..before it’s too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So try not to judge Clarke too hard. She really doesn't understand social cues at all. She doesn't even understand her own feelings toward Lexa.
> 
> For the record, Raven and Lexa hang out in the same social group but they aren't best friends. Raven also doesn't know about Lexa's feelings for Clarke. Idk if that helps at all.


	3. Read

So I'm seeing a lot of negative comments. That doesn't really surprise me to be honest. I know many people hate when Clexa is with other people. But this is part of the journey for this fic. Like seriously, people are flawed! Nobody is perfect, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve love as well. Clarke doesn't understand her feelings for Lexa. She doesn't understand that her little to do list isn't healthy. On a deeply subconscious level, she is trying to protect herself from truly putting herself out there and risking getting hurt. She's been closed off ever since her parents died. She can't deal with emotion so she shuts it out. Ever noticed how she's very scientific and formal about everything she does? This girl has issues and there's no denying it.

But you also haven't really seen Lexa yet either. I never said Lexa was going to wait around. But I'm also not going to make Lexa sleep around just because Clarke is because quite frankly, that's immature. Lexa has learned from her own mistakes in the past. Who knows, maybe she will be able to help Clarke find her way. 

And please, no slut shaming. I have a tough skin so you can express your opinions in the comments but let's try to be respectful,yeah?

My fics are angsty. They will always be angsty. I don't see that changing but I can promise happy endings. So maybe that helps. Readers won't always like the direction I'm going in and that's perfectly acceptable and I get it if you want to stop reading. I don't write for the views (although they are immensely appreciated). I write because I love to and I'm going to stay true to my vision for the fic. Sorry if some of you don't like that. 

I love to hear your thoughts though. They do make me think about things. So please continue. I'll try to get the next chapter out this weekend.

**Author's Note:**

> Clarke is very socially awkward and doesn't understand Lexa likes her and she also doesn't understand her own feelings for Lexa. It's going to be a really really bumpy right with lots of angst. Be aware. Much much angst.
> 
> Note : In this fic universe, being intersex is accepted by all (as it should be). So yeah, nobody bats an eyelash at Clarke. No bullying or anything. 
> 
> CLEXA ENDGAME ALL THE WAY SO YAS! (Comment if you can because I love to hear opinions)


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